May 25^th 2023

 

Dear Mother

I wanted you to know

The hole you left in my heart, my spirit, and soul

I craved love as a child and even now

Because noone saw it fit to give it to me

I wanted support but you never gave it.

I wanted care, but you showed me indifference.

You’ve never care for me a day in your life.

And I got the impression that I was your greatest strife.

As a person I watched and observed, and waited for the words that never came, I love you!

Instead you told me, I should have killed you, when you were being born!

All these years I still remembered and the pain you left behind

I remembered how you pimped me out

Didn’t  care that I was a child, your child

All you desired was material things.

You didn’t  care when I was kidnapped on Kingston streets, taken away to be violated.

You did nothing!!

I’ve asked myself a million times why I’m I here?

Birthed to parents that doesn’t  and didn’t care.

What did I do to make you hate me?

I didn’t  ask to be here, to be the side-chick baby…..

Was it because he offered the possibilities of maybe?

You criticized, lie, emotionally brutalized to be seen

Never care of the damages you caused and left deep.

Dear mother,

 I took my hurt and pain

And although it affects me everyday, it didn’t  break me

I work hard and raised a beautiful soul

Went to school and obtained several degrees.

While setting an example and being independently reliable

I’ve Learned to drive

I’ve Learned to live and forgive

But most importantly, I’ve learned to love

You’ve  become my example of what I don’t  want to be, or ever become

 

The mother who cannot say to their child “I like you”, or I’m  sorry!

When you see Jesus

On my behalf, tell him why you treated me so poorly.

I forgive you! Although the pain won’t  go away. But I now realize an émpty vessel have nothing to pour and for that I forever you and ask God to bless your soul.

Farewell to this pain and the reason for my pain.